Now, I’m off to college in a few months, and I pretty much can do whatever the fuck I want at work and still be okay. Plus, even if I get fired, my shitty host salary can be matched by two baby sitting jobs a week. Therefore, I am unafraid to give customers exactly what they dish out to me back anymore. I’m done. If I get fired, I get a proper summer vacation and then I can go to school.

Actually, I don’t know what I’d do if I get fired. I need the money.

Every Wednesday, I get these people.

1.) They order two senior entrees. ”Oh, we didn’t know you can’t do that. This makes no sense.” ”Sir, the senior entree is already discounted well over 20%”

2.) They try using a BOGO coupon on top of it. ”Well, it says nowhere on here that I can’t use it.” ”Sir, it says, not valid with specials, senior discounts or holidays.”

3.) They say they’ve used it thousands of times. ”Well, last time I was here, and all the times before that, they always gave me a senior meal off.” ”Sir, with the exception of spring breaks and two weeks in the summer, I have worked every single Wednesday since I started almost three years ago. I have NEVER let you get a senior meal off. Plus, I remember you from last week, your name’s Frank and your wife’s name is Ella.”

4.) ”WELL IT NEVER SAID I HAD TO ORDER TWO DRINKS.” ”Sir, it says on the poster, must have two drinks.” ”I CAN’T READ!” ”Obviously you read well enough to see senior night.” ”WELL GET ME TWO COFFEES. I WANT THEM HOT!” *gets coffee to go* ”Here you are sir.” ”GOOD, AT LEAST I HAVE SOMETHING FOR TOMORROW MORNING.”

Why do you want center of the earth hot coffee if it’s for tomorrow fucking morning?

Submitted by: Jessica

Another server and myself had the bar as our section, half of which was reserved for a party we were to serve and the other half we were rotating. the party was to arrive at 7pm and was for 30 people, who did not pre-order any of the food. i knew this wasn’t going to be the easiest because usually when a party of that size doesn’t pre-order, it just makes it that much harder to figure out what everybody wants. well the half of the bar they hadn’t reserved was in full swing when finally around 7:30 the people in the party start to show up. it was ten people at first, appeared to be the one’s in charge, and seemed really nice. after that all hell broke loose.

the rest of the party started showing up and it turned out they ”had a few more than expected, is that ok?” a few more was actually 20 more people than they had told us. so now we had to figure out where we were going to put all these people, and THEY had the gall to be upset with US. for what? not being clairvoyant? like we should know that when they said 30 people, what they really meant was 50?! so we told them as soon as the tables in the bar started clearing out we’d be able to seat the rest of them. i was at one of those tables boxing up their meals and asking if they’d like anything else when one of the guys from the party came up, interrupted me, and asked ”are they leaving? like now? are they leaving now? cause we need this table when they do.” BEYOND RUDE. i looked at my table apologetically. so eventually we get everybody situated and start to explain our pizza deal that we have. it’s where a large group of people can order two types of big appetizers, two types of big salads, and an assortment of pizzas (the amount of food in each course correlates with how many people there are) for about $16 a person not including drinks, which sounds like a lot but is actually a deal in the long run; it would be more expensive if every three people ordered their own appetizers, salads, and pizza. not to mention the fact that if they took the pizza party deal, it would be way easier on us. so they all agreed to this pizza deal, even when we explained that we would not be able to split the check based on how large the party is and just the way the pizza party deal goes into the computer-it can’t be split.

so we get all the appetizers and salads out and everything is pretty messy because the people are all over the place (like walking around all over in the bar) and really needy and demanding. so we get them fed, and the time comes for the dessert option. for some reason, still unknown to me, we ended up giving them free dessert even though they had brought their own cake. why? because they complained about not having a dessert deal in the pizza party deal. yeah. so that’s about $80 off their bill. this was after we didn’t charge them for the kids in the party considering the pizza party deal was more than enough food and kids don’t usually eat that much (on a daily basis we really only count the kids as 1/2’s ).so we were already giving them a good deal.

finally the time comes where they’re ready to settle their bill and we hand it over. after all the drinks and a few random side dishes they had ordered, it was almost $800. then the complaining starts again. i’m not entirely sure what all they complained about because they were talking to my manager for quite some time and i was trying to shut the restaurant down (at this point it was past closing time, which was at 10pm) i know that a couple of the things they complained about was that they said my serving partner had told them all different deals with different prices (not remotely true) and the fact that about 10 of their family members had left before the bill came, so they were angry that they were stuck with their portion of the bill. they acted as if it was all our fault. HOW?! i mean, that’s between them and their family members, not us. it’s not our fault their family members are sheisty and left without chipping in for the bill. yet they complained and complained until finally my manager took another $100 off their bill. way to stand your ground, manager. so in the end they paid less than $700 for a bill that should have been closer to $1,000. so my serving partner and i only got about 50% of what we should have made off the party.we each made $50. for all that work, and running around, and chaos. it should have been closer to $100 each. unbelievable that people would act that way.

Submitted by: Sara

The only celebrity I ever waited on was Justin Guarini from American Idol fame, needless to say I was less than star struck. He ordered a hot tea and your basic breakfast and tipped around 20 percent, so at least he was “normal” tipper.

The weird thing was that he sang his entire order to me and talked into a microphone that wasn’t plugged in.

The Inn I worked at supposedly had a ton of big name people come through it, but I was never able to meet any of them first hand.

We actually had a room there called “The Harrison Ford Room”.

I once heard that a man who had just won a golf tournament came into a restaurant hammered drunk with his trophy, of course.  When he got there, he demanded that the waitress pour his beer into his trophy so that he could use it to drink his beer.  Obviously, the waitress said no and the man then preceded to ask the waitress to make out with him.

Luckily for this dude, his friends realized what was going on and they got him under control and he finally apologized.

I’m not going to lie, if I won a golf tournament and got a trophy, I’d do the same thing.

Submitted by: Mr. Anonymous

$41 on a $38.78 bill

I’ve been timing food perfectly for the three months I’ve worked at this restaurant and never had an issue.  The food comes out about 10 minutes later, and as I’m setting up a tray stand, I see both the man and woman still have about 1/4 of their salads left.  Oh well, slow eaters right?  Dinner rush, busy kitchen, etc.

I inform the customers their meal has arrived, and the woman slams her fork down, practically throws her salad plate off to the side of the table, and just gives me a look.  While placing the plates in front of each customer, I apologize for the timing being a little off.  The woman snubs me and makes snide remarks.

My others tables are now staring, and I felt the need to defend myself.  In a calm, polite way, I responded “madam, again, i am very sorry for the off timing on your entree.  I unfortunately have no control over how fast the food is cooked, but only when it begins preparation and how fast it gets to you”

She then snaps her head in my direction, and practically screams “EXCUSE ME?  DON’T TELL ME WHAT YOUR JOB IS, I KNOW WHAT IT IS.  YOUR JOB AS A WAITER IS TO MAKE SURE MY FOOD COMES OUT ON TIME, AND YOU HAVE FULL CONTROL OVER HOW FAST ALL THAT HAPPENS, ITS YOUR JOB.  SO DON’T TRY TO TELL ME”

Now standing there dumbfounded like a jackass, i realized my surrounding tables are all staring at me like I suck.  I didn’t say anything else, and walked away.  Needless to say, I received some poor tips shortly thereafter from her table, as well as the adjacent ones who I believe were acquaintances that happened to be seated nearby.

Submitted by: Jesse

It is 1 hour into my 6 hour shift and I am keeping track of 8 tables, offering them refills, giving them mints, and cleaning up their sloppy messes. Suddenly an attractive family of 4 walks in, with 2 adults, a son in his early twenties (Older than I am) and a little girl.

They order their food and make their way to one of the nicest tables (freshly cleaned of course). They dig into they food, and suddenly I get called over by the father who nicely says “What is the situation with refills here?’ and hands me his cup, I take it out of his hand with a smile and reply “I am on it.”

After refilling his drink and giving the family their fair share of mints, I ask mid-meal “Is everything alright with your meal? Any problems?” and they ALL reply no, even the eldest son, it ahs been all smiles, and they seem to be very impressed with my service.

As I am helping another table, the father pulls me over again and asks for a pen, and he even remembered my name. I am screaming with excitement inside, the ONLY reason you would need a pen is to write on one of the little suggestion cards on the table. I hand him the pen and he then gives it to his son, who starts scribbling away on one the little cards. I am so excited, they pack up and leave, leaving a significant mess, but whatever… before they are out the door he calls over one of the managers an hands her the card, once again, I was excited.

The next 4 hours I was thinking about what could be on the card, customers almost never write on them, so this is a big deal because the managers always put them on the corkboard for everyone to see, so it there is a big “Clayton was Amazing…” it would be amazing, I am proud to say that dining room was spotless the entire night.

My shift is finally over, and I am checking my hours when I spot the card sitting on her desk, we are NOT supposed to go in there, so I press my face against the window to read…

“I was not very happy with the temperature of the food, it was cold and soggy and I was disappointed that no one was available to assist me…”

Now she is re-thinking me being ready for the dining room, back to garbage runs and restocking bathrooms for me…

You would think that if a customer was going to leave me his number he would at least have the courtesy leave a tip.

Submitted by: Sam

I had a table of three come in, I payed close attention to them, always making sure their drinks were full (of course without ever hanging over the table,) made friendly conversation when they addressed me, and sold two of our most fancy desserts. Everything went smoothly. I was quite pleased with myself.

But at the end of $75 bill, no tip. I kept playing it over in my mind to see if I went wrong somewhere, but that was the most efficient table I had ever served. I understand this kind of thing happens sometimes, but it can be disheartening. The rest of my shift was pretty lousy after that.

Submitted by: Michelle